Forgetful Fighter

Random Musings

2006-06-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

When I woke and bowed my knees
Just who was it I tried to please
Was it God or man around
Was it trust or cause I'm proud

When I worship on Sunday morn
Is it God that I adore
Am I like a pharise or
The tax collector on both His knees

I pray my desire matches His worth
Knowing He has paid for my new birth
He ALONE deserves my heart
It's every piece not just a part

I must keep a watch on all my motives
For this is where I find my sin pervades
When I want good that's where evil is
This is one way the spirit Spirit aids

Realizing that it's Him not me
That He is God of all my need
All I want and have is His
Cause God's the Father that guides His kids

Mass to Corning, A Trip to Home

2006-03-08T13:59:00.000-05:00

I've offically left my home to come to what has become home to me. It was a 7 hr trip that took 2 months. Thank God that He's in control and knows what He is doing. He is so faithful, and I don't even see the half of it.

Your's truly,
Jesse

20 Means What

2006-02-13T21:34:00.000-05:00

I was going to write a poem. It was going to go like this.
20 oceans, 20 skies, 20 failures, 20 tries.
Ok maybe it's not so original, But hey no reason I can't plagiarise a little?
Few get what they want, fewer get what there due.
Here's the whole of my thought as I write it to you.

On to business. Now I know that I haven't bloged in a while. As a few of you have most graciously pointed out. And despite my best attempts to tame the mob ( thank you for your attempt Beth) it might appear (to any but me) that you aren't satisfied. So here I go, not unlike the Roman emperors of old who threw money and food to calm the people, with some new words to try and bring a little peace to your bitter hearts.

Ok I'm twenty now, but hold the applause please, what does that mean?
Does it mean that I must act like an adult now? Or continue along the way I am?

Though I don't see God gracing me with sudden maturity. I do think that when we become a year older it provides us with the opportunity to look back to how far we came in the year previous. Also to focus on where the new year may take us in every aspect of our life.
It would be impossible for me to foretell what this year may hold but I can list a few areas that I would like to grow in.

Humility--- especially in encouraging others, I find that I am to wrapped up in me to see what God is doing in others. If I'm more intentional about finding ways to encourage others I believe that I will see more of God, be less judgmental of people, and gain a proper view of self. Any of the three would be fruits of pride dying.

Stewardship---including both money and time. Especially time. I am a super time waster, if there were a competition for chief time waster I would defiantly be in the running. Now this would not be something that honors God, quite the opposite. It's sin and is the breeding ground for other sins. Pride, anger, impatience... Looking at the story of the ten talents I would be more like someone who received the money and then spent it for his own gain, I want to become more like one of those He calls good and faithful servant.

I could go on but it takes to long for me to type and would probably make for a pretty boring post.

Well as I wrap up I see I never really answer my title. 20 Means What?

For me my 20th year is just another year in what God calls life. Another year with 365 days. And every day a day that brings unique opportunities to grow closer to God. To feel conviction, to repent, and become more and more the man He would have me to be. May He continue to prune and grow us.

Now that I've said more than I was going to say.
I am going to publish my post and call it a day.

This is Bethany

2006-01-30T17:08:00.000-05:00

Hi folks who read Jesse's blog this is Beth Rawleigh. Jesse asked me to update his blog for him cause he is to incredibly busy to do it himself. (I'm supposed to be painting him a good light and I figured that was better then saying he was lazy) Jesse has been up in corning since Saturday. He is out right now teaching my brother to drive a standard car. My brother is doing great (at teaching other drivers patience that is) we went ice skating today and played some dance dance revolution, Jesse beat me twice at the hardest song on the whole game..... MAX 300. Than he decided to work on his humility and stop playing because he wanted to serve me and the other players.

well folks that's all
remember life is like an apple.....
and a new one.... Christianity is like a hotdog

Patriotic Tears

2006-01-14T23:43:00.000-05:00

There is a deep sorrow spreading across New England nation this evening. One that we haven't had to feel for quite some time. The pain of seeing your team, the team you have cried with, laughed with, and cheered with, let you down in the 4th quarter. I now find myself a companion to those of you whose teams (Cowboys and Giants) let you fall from hoping to own Super Bowl LX to "Well maybe next year." I will never falter from the belief that I am an incremental part of each football season, and that somehow I have let us down. Maybe I didn't cheer loud enough. Or maybe I yelled at them to much. Whatever it was there is always next year.

So I ask all of you for one simple thing, join me in a week of fasting, prayer, and introspection as we prepare for yet another Patriot football season.

As the good book says "there is a time for wining playoff games and a time for losing them". This year turned out to be a time of losing, but next year

Yeah next year is another story.

GO PATRIOTS

True Blue

2006-01-08T00:08:00.000-05:00

Go Patriots!!!!!!!!

28-3 Pats over the Jags

What is True Love

2006-01-07T10:58:00.000-05:00

Well not to much going on here. Hi to everone I haven't talked to recently. What has God been doing in your life in the passed three weeks? He's been teaching me alot about trusting Him, being patient, and more recently about love what it really is and what that means for me now.
I started reading I Kissed dating Goodbye for the first time a few days ago. It's been great so far, a constant blend of encouragement and conviction. As I was reading last night I came across a verse I haven't read for a while.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

What a model these verses paint about who we should be. I know I am no where near expressing this kind of love. The kind of love that truly cares for others and doesn't seek that the ambitions of self be glorified. Josh explained it this way that "God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked bloodied man hangs and says "This is love"". If that is what love really is what is it exactly that I show. My guess would be a much more selfish version, but what a God we seek to serve. He gives us the hope yerning to change, to grow.

Thank you God that you love us, that you are patient with us, and that you provide the grace for us to grow. You give us the desire to grow and are there to help us grow every day as we strive to walk with you.

Forgetful Fighter or Faithful One

2005-12-23T19:45:00.000-05:00

A forgetful fighter is who I am, living through battle ignoring the plan.

Am I unaware of the battles so near, or do I avoid them and listen to fear.

Battles each day are constantly fought, am I there fighting or have I forgot,

That He came to earth to seek and to save, that the way isn't easy but the path has been paved.

That He is the Savior and the price that He pay, that I might reach to the lost and show them the way.

These are the battles I am talking about, the moments on earth when I can reach out.

How do I dare to dwell on my fear when the start of eternity is drawing so near.

It's only from You Lord that the power may come

To change from a forgetful fighter to a faithful one.

Jesse Aiduk

I'm Still Jesse...

2005-12-21T16:20:00.000-05:00

...and Life is like an apple
I miss you all!!!

(Now this is Cassie filling in for Jesse...he just went back to work so he asked me to let you all know that he will finish the post later. By the way, I miss you all too!)